When the World Is Too Much: Navigating Shutdowns, Success, and Self-Compassion.

"When the world is too loud, too fast, and too much… I don’t melt down. I shut down."

This is something I posted recently on social media, and I wanted to share more here, especially for anyone who might relate.

What Shutdown Feels Like for Me

As an autistic person, overwhelm doesn’t always look like crying or shouting. Sometimes it’s silence, disconnection, and hiding from the world.

Shutdown for me looks like lying in bed, distracting myself with music or games, or just needing long quiet hours to recover. It’s not laziness .... it’s survival. But it doesn’t always look that way to the world.

The Pressure of "Doing Well"

Over the past few months, I’ve been juggling school, expectations from myself and others, and running a creative business I built from scratch. While dealing with this and a multitude of other problems swirling through my head, it's hard to stay focused.

I’ve successfully written and illustrated my first children’s book. I’m proud and grateful, but also really, really tired.

It’s strange, you can be proud of yourself and still feel completely drained. The pressure to keep going, stay upbeat, and to not let anyone down... it’s heavy, especially to those who are still new to their emotions.

What’s Next: Proof Copies, Publishing, and Pacing Myself

I’m about to receive the proof copy of my book, the final step before publishing it to the world through Amazon KDP.

While I do feel excited, it's hard to outwardly express it, and I’m also processing a lot. But that's okay.

I want to share the joy of this milestone at my pace. Not because I owe it to anyone, but because it’s meaningful to me.

Closing Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like your quiet moments make you “less than” or like your rest needs just don’t fit the mould ..... you’re not alone.

This isn’t a post with a tidy ending, but it’s real, and that’s enough for now.

Thanks for being here, especially in the quiet parts.