I used to hiss. Now I draw.

Nat sketching characters

Who would have thought that just five years after my diagnosis, I’d be here; an artist, writer, and illustrator of children’s books, using my lived experience to help kids navigate friendships, bullies, and big feelings.

There are mornings when the first thing I want to do is draw. Before I’m even out of bed, I’ve got my sketchbook on my lap and I’m already deep in ideas. One of the photos I’m sharing here shows exactly that. It’s a quiet moment, but it says a lot. For me, drawing has become a way to express what used to feel impossible to explain.

It wasn’t always like this.

There was a time when anxiety had me completely shut down. I couldn’t respond to people, I barely showed any expression, and felt like the only way I could communicate was by hissing. I know it sounds strange, but back then, it was all I had. I hurt myself, bit myself, and even stabbed myself with pencils. No matter where I was, I didn't feel safe. Things are better now, but it is not like all the pain is gone.

Sometimes, I think about what that time must have been like for mum. She tried to understand, but both our frustrations and fears got in the way. We didn’t always have the right words or proper ways to communicate, but we kept going. Through many challenges, the right support eventually came around.

In action, illustrating the "You Can't Rush Friendships" book

Since my diagnosis, I’ve had some incredible therapists, mentors and helpers in my life. Being part of a family who never stopped showing up, their patience, love and belief in me gave me space to grow in my own time.

Now I’m a fully published indie author, and my first children’s book is out in the world.

The second image here shows me mid-process working on the illustrations that helped bring Beanpie Island to life. I’ve created characters who feel things deeply and figure out who they are. Just like I did.

Sometimes healing begins with silence, sometimes it starts with scribbles in bed. Sometimes it becomes a story that helps others feel seen.

Thank you for being part of mine.

Keep being you,

Nat 💚

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